Cory Shae

2011-10-22T00:08:00.001-06:00

Mostly, I just want to have a baby.

2011-09-03T15:25:00.002-06:00

I'm mostly over sharing my life on the internet.

I have nothing left to share.

Over-shared.

I'm taking a break until further notice.

Food Storage

2011-08-27T23:17:00.002-06:00

Yup, I started mine.

About a year ago I had the thought "You need to get your food storage together," followed by "What the heck?" I didn't start it just then because I was planning on going on a mission followed by graduate school -- really unrealistic time for building food storage. And I was single and 21. My parents have a good amount of food storage so I thought if something happens I'll just move home.

Time came and went and I never went to grad school or on a mission. It is kind of bizarre how things work out, against our own will but at the right time and place. I never saw my self still in Alamosa a year later but here I am. And there is no time like the present.

So, $160 later just on the staples - I've got a good amount started.

... but where to keep it? Everything says "Keep in a cool, dry place." I can do dry. But cool? In my house? uh.... Where am I supposed to keep it then...? I'm just going to have to make sure and keep it rotated since the cool part isn't really an option.

I'm so excited though! And definitely so lucky to be at a point in my life, so early in life, where I am able to accomplish and follow this commandment. To learn more about food storage and why Mormons are always talking about it, go HERE. There are some really great quotes that summarize food storage on the bottom of the article as well.

2011-07-13T12:04:00.002-06:00

Your lack of SELF confidence makes me want to NOT do everything you think I'm NOT going to do. Grow a pair or stop putting yourself out there.

2011-07-11T21:17:00.001-06:00

Tonight, I'm grateful for parents that have always taken their covenants very seriously. You never realize what a blessing this is until you have friends that don't. And your friend's parents don't. So it's no wonder.

I'm glad such a high standard was set for me. I know it's hard. It's much more difficult to do the right thing than it is the wrong thing but its the right thing. And that's where the happiness is attached. Especially if you have to struggle to get there. I'm so grateful for this knowledge. I am so lucky.

2011-07-09T00:08:00.000-06:00

Some of the most ridiculous things make me terribly sad.

I feel like this was the best place to post this. Not sure why.

On the Road Again

2011-06-26T16:06:00.003-06:00

Its been almost a month since I last updated this thing. I have been very busy the last two months with work and haven't had much time for blogging. I had to attend a 7 week training in Parker and Thornton to become "qualified" to practice social work in the State of Colorado. So I've been up there for most of the time and returning home to do get things done around the house/work in the office a few days a week. It has been crazy busy and insane. But it is officially over and as soon as I finish a few homework assignments, I will be qualified. Very exciting.

So I wanted to share a few highway stories of mine. What I mean is, they are things that I experienced the last few days while driving on the highway. Story One On Friday night, my parents and I were all driving home from Denver in seperate cars. I was the first one headed that way, alone in my own car. I passed a Semi and he sped up and got equal to my car on the road. Thinking it meant I had a flat tire or something, I looked over... and the scumbag held up a cardboard sign that said "WOW." I gave the dirtiest look imaginable and sped away so fast. What is wrong with people that they keep prefabricated signs in their vehicles to hit on young women?!?! And what was he expecting to get out of it? I pray that has never worked for him before. I was so disgusted.

Story Two Then, just before the Deer Trail exit on I-70 I saw a young guy walking. He looked really skinny and he was holding a little plastic bag of something. My heart went out to him. (Normally I don't think twice about people walking on the highway but for some reason he caught my eye and tugged my heart.) When my mom got home right after me, I asked her if she saw him. She did and thought something was odd about it, he had caught her eye too. We put it out of our mind and carried on.

The next afternoon I took my sister swimming in Limon. We were there for hours and it was a ton of fun (pictures to come, of course.) On the way home, with her passed out in the back seat, I saw him again, a mile or two east of the Agate exit. I text my mom and told her. She text me back wanting to know where he was at. I told her and included that he looked really slumped and sluggish. I got home and she was asking me all sorts of questions about him. She said "Maybe you and your dad should take him some food. I'd make a sandwich." I looked at her and shrugged. Never in my life have I helped a homeless person outside of organized volunteer work and I was a bit skittish. I wanted to help but you can put yourself in a dangerous situation like that so I was hesitant. Since he looked so young, however, I was willing. By young I mean like.... 14. But of course when you are going 80 on a highway, anyone could look 14. Haha. So right away my mom got up and went out to the garage to tell my dad about him and see if he would take him food. Of course my dad said yes. My dad OFTEN helps homeless people so it wasn't uncomfortable for him. He didn't, however, want me to go in case something bad happened. I told him there is safety in numbers, plus he was kinda my guy anyway hahah. I wanted to go.

My mom and I packed up a bag of food for him. A sandwich (my mom doesn't even make me sandwiches! what the heck?... now I know what it takes at least... ;) ), string cheeses, bananas, grapes, water bottles, chips, toothbrush/paste, banana bread, kleenex. All sorts of stuff. And my dad and I went on a hunt for him. We drove for to Cedar Point and couldn't find him. I made my dad keep driving to the Kiowa exit just in case my distance had been off. Still no sight. I was glad that someone else had gotten him off the road, worried about what kind of weirdo had picked him up (I have fears about sex-trafficking), sad that we couldn't have been the ones to help, and excited to eat the grapes myself. Hahaha. When we turned around my dad said "Keep watching for him in case he had just stepped off the road." So we did. About 5 miles from the Agate exit we saw him walking! We turned around real fast, I was all nervous and excited. Lol. My dad pulled up behind him, He put his head into the window and my dad asked him if he wanted a ride. He hesitated and said "Where are you going?" Dad said, "We can take you to Limon." Guy hesitated some more and said "Yeah," and got in. He didn't see me in the backseat at all. (I was sitting in the back because apparently its safer to keep a homeless person in the front, according to my dad.)

Homeless guy smelled SO bad. His hair was SO oily and matted and he had a very wirey beard. My dad (who has sinus issues and couldn't smell a thing drove while I'm in the back with a sweater to my face so I can breath the great smell of clean laundry) starts asking him what his story is. His name was Jeffery. He was 21 and from Fort Collins. He didn't know how long he had been gone, but left his dad's house after he spent $2,000 on drugs and his dad kicked him out so he decided to "head east." My dad offers him his phone to call his own dad, incase his dad has been worried about him. We pull over for service, the man doesn't answer (but Jeffery did indeed dial a Fort Collins number so thats good.) We get back on the road. My dad says, "Where are you going?" Guy says, "Well, Limon." We all laugh. He realizes I'm there and I startled him hahaha. My dad says, "My daughter has seen you walking and wanted to do something so we brought you some food." The guy, who kind of stutters, thanks us. He seemed like he wanted to dig right in but said, "I won't eat in front of you." So he has manners, that's good. My dad talks to him some more, hes all inspirational and stuff and tells him now is the time to turn his life around. The guy bashes the military a few times, my dad lets him know he's retired Air Force. The guy changes the topic to a movie about cocaine, Blow. My dad's never even heard of it, haha.

Anyway, it was a good trip, we dropped him off at TA in Limon. I told him where to get a shower and buy more food for the road. He said thank you, apologized to my dad for offending him (I'm honestly not sure if he meant because he smelled so bad or because of the military stuff.) And he got out of the car. He could hardly walk, I think from having walked for so long. We pulled away. I made my dad roll down the window so I could breathe. We will never see him again.

I have said a lot of prayers for him since then. He looked just like Meth, with Crack Bugs on his face and back, rail thin, it was bad news. People think drugs are all good and great and that they are in control. People are so wrong. He was 21 and literally had nothing but the shirt on his back. He didn't even have that little plastic bag anymore. (Except now he has one cuz we gave him one... actually I doubled it up so now he has TWO, just in case.) Haha. So that was story 2, please add Jeffrey from FoCo to your prayers. He needs them.

Story Three Today on my way home from my parents, I was driving along all do-ta-do-ta-do. You know, no big deal. Until I passed a motorcyclist. With a cut-off t-shirt on. That had risen in the wind up to his chest. And what was hanging out of his blowing shirt, you ask? HIS BOOBS. And they were bouncing up and down as he drove along. They were huge and very boob-ish and saggy. So gross!!!!!! I was like really, he couldn't tuck the front of it into his jeans to keep his boobs from showing?!? Really?!?

Pillar of Salt

2011-05-28T22:45:00.007-06:00

I wish that I was finishing up my first year of a Master's Program at BYU this month, not switching from my first year-long job onto my second.

I wish God and I could go to lunch a couple times a year.

I wish people were kinder.

I'm hungry. It's 11 pm.

I don't seem to compile actual stories lately.

I left Alamosa this weekend for a break. I needed it, but why do I always leave when there are actually things going on?!

Seriously, I just want to be in Provo.

Who do people think they are, asking to rekindle friendships out of failed relationships? Don't waste our time. That is just hurtful.

I so, so, so want to be blonde again.

I so, so, so want to be in love again.

I so, so, so want to feel like I'm accomplishing things.

I want to be on vacation somewhere exciting and I want internal peace and serenity in my heart.

Please, God?

Kaylee while I was babysitting her tonight. Notice the leash.

She insisted on being a dog, so I insisted she get in the dog bed.

She obliged. I laughed so hard. Her name was "Fluffy."

Conversation we had:

Me: Dot (the dog) is getting old.

Kaylee: No! She's growing up.

Me: No, she's really old. She's going to die soon.

Kaylee: No, she's getting big like me!

Poor girl is in denial.

Another conversation:

Kaylee: Mommy, lift up your shirt. (Pause) You and Cory have big tummies!

I am in denial. Haha.

Confession #15

2011-05-04T16:42:00.003-06:00

When people tell me things about my self, such as, "Oh I love that top," or "I like your haircut," or "You look really pretty today," all I think is, how did you notice anything beyond my acne.

My skin misses birth control.

Prayer

2011-04-26T21:44:00.002-06:00

I often evaluate my life to see what it is that I'm not accomplishing, what it is that I need to change to increase my level of happiness. For those things that I feel like I need but don't know how to go about getting on my own, I pray for them or for opportunities to learn how to add those things into my life. I almost always get whatever it is I pray for.

Lately, I've realized the things I think I need (and am subsequently getting) and the things I actually need are probably two different things. That, or I need to learn how to find a balance between the polar opposites. Exhausting.

So, onto my big announcements that I've been mentioning throughout a few posts.

Back in September, after a year of praying, I received the answer that I needed to go on a mission. So I put it off for a week, then met with my Bishop and started my paperwork. It was all great timing because I ended up having dental insurance until November and had no idea... and had TWO cavities in ONE tooth!! wtf!! I hadn't been to the dentist in a long time cuz I didn't know I had dental insurance. Anyway, so that was definitely amazing timing and a great blessing. Now I can tell people I've had a cavity lol.

Anyway, as you can tell. Its now almost May, and I'm obviously not on a mission.

I'm not entirely sure what the delay(s) has been, but it has been a really rough journey. I've had a hard time with it, with having patience, and with not just giving up on the idea.

One day I thought, "Well, it's freaking March. I need to do something with my life." I had not applied for grad school last fall because I figured I'd be gone by now. So if I don't go on a mission I'm stuck for another year. So I was like "hmm... I should see what jobs are open." So I get online and start looking and my dream job just happens to be open and applications close 3 days later. So I took it as a good sign that the one time I look is the one time in a year the position is open and I applied. They called me a couple weeks later while I was in Florida on vacation for an interview. I scheduled one. I interviewed. It sucked. I interviewed there a year ago and I rocked that one. This one, not so much. I got a letter in the mail a few days later saying I wasn't chosen. I honestly wasn't surprised or disappointed at all. It was just whatever. I didn't think about it again.

I signed the paperwork on my house the next week. (YAY!!!) So I now own a little home :) It's actually not as exciting as I thought it was going to be. It's exactly the same as it was before, except now it stresses me out when things break or don't work haha. Anyway, on the way to sign the paperwork with my grandma, I get a call. The person they hired for the job is my age but is just finishing her masters and has already completed the 7 week requisite training. But she declined the job. I was next on the list. I was second. And behind no one but a girl my age with a Master's. I'm a rock star. Just kidding, I just like to stroke my ego. But that's kind of rock star quality, depending on what the other applicants looked like. So I tell her I'll call her back the next day and let her know.

I cried. A lot. I didn't know what to do. Do I give up a mission for my dream job? Do I give up my dream job for a mission? What if I never even freaking get to go on a mission? It's already taken infinitely longer than it should have. What desires are righteous and what desires aren't? Which ones do I act on? Do I take this job and then leave in a few months and screw my reputation over? I got a blessing from my uncle. Have patience, Cory. I'VE HAD PATIENCE SINCE SEPTEMBER, what do you mean have patience?!?!

I call my stake president. He says, "Have patience. I'd take the job." I take the job. I own a house. All in a 24 hour period.

I'm petrified. It's child welfare/case management for the county that I live in. Meaning I'm about to start seeing some terrible things on a constant basis. Things I can't even imagine. Things I don't want to imagine. I'm about to increase my income by $15,000. I'm about to put my Bachelor's to work. I'm about to gain experience, challenge myself, actually do something with my life. I'm about to commit myself to something that isn't going to allow me to take vacations every three months like I've been doing. I'm about to grow up. Wait, I just bought a house. I did just grow up. Ahhhhhh.

I do still pray and hope for the opportunity to go on a mission, or to accept His will if it's just not meant to be. But theres all my news, in one sudden happy post.

Mission.

New job.

Homeowner.

All out in the open.

In the mean time, what do you do when you feel like you are doing what you are "supposed" to do but still feel like there's something you're completely missing? What am I missing?! Achghlf!

2011-04-18T21:43:00.003-06:00

Being facebook friends with an ex is never a good idea, under any circumstances.

And... rant.

2011-04-15T17:29:00.002-06:00

I hate T-shirts. Not all t-shirts. Specifically the unshaped, sleeve half way down your arm, especially with words on them, type of t-shirts. HATE THEM. People get professional photo's in T's!!! wtf!!!

My suggestion: Take the money that you would have spent on professional photos this year and buy a couple of attractive, shaped-in-some-way-other-than-a-square, shirts. Then next year, you'll have something to wear when you go get those photos taken.

I'm all about wearing t's to bed. I wear some of my dad's old shirts to bed all the time. They are probably about as old as me. (Hot, huh? Any takers? ;) ) but I would never wear something like that in public! What are people thinking. If your clothing in any way matches pajamas, it should probably be converted to such.

And speaking of pictures and shirts. What's with people wearing shirts that say HOLLISTER in big gawdy letters or AE screen prints all over them in professional pictures. All I'm doing is reading your shirt, not looking at your face. Try again.

2011-04-12T21:09:00.002-06:00

I miss my best friend.

Other's choices can be just as devastating as your own.

Afterthought: I miss that hair too! Hot damn I looked good!

Unreal

2011-04-10T16:56:00.005-06:00

I just ate an unreal amount of food.

I never read people's blog titles.

I wish i could block people on this thing without making it private.

Never assume you know what someone is going through, even if it's something they've been through before. You have no idea.

I really want a baby, all the time.

I'm having a really hard time letting go of things that would make my life infinitely better if I did.

I have been chronically ill for about a year and a half now. It's bad. I mean not death bad or anything. Just out of hand. I'm always sick!

My boobs currently feel like two swollen, ruby red grapefruits. And look like them too.

I feel like I'm in a rush to grow up, all while feeling already grown-up. Its a really confusing, uncomfortable position to be in.

I slept with my mouth open on multiple airplanes recently. So glad I didn't drool

You know that forehead crinkle I talked about in This Post? Some people have crinkles without even moving their heads!

I took the love language test thing recently after a million people around me started talking about it. My two dominate languages (they were like 1 point from each other) are: Time and Touch. Sooo true.

I've had the same load of laundry on my living room chair for weeks.

I desperately wish I could get back into obsessive fitness mode... but I just can't!!!

People are so contradictory.

I want to move to Denver.

Life is hard.

10 Things I Learned in College

2011-03-24T17:56:00.004-06:00

Eating is overrated. People get by on crackers and peanut butter all the time.
Some people don't know how to shut up. (I think this was something that was probably specific to my minor and university. Religious classes, kill me. Family classes, shoot me again please.)
Girls are dirty bitches.
Fake tanning is an antidepressant.
Boys will be boys.
Playing too many video games really will affect other aspects of your life (i.e. first semester grades.)
Full priced movies are a rip-off. Dollar theater movies are the way to go.
I need the city.
Undergraduate = high school that you pay for. During and for the 10 years following.
Some people should never marry. Those are the same people that do marry.

Question Time!

2011-03-23T17:12:00.003-06:00

Think of your last ten kisses, were they with the same person? Does kissing someone like 5 times in a row count as 5 kisses or 1? if it counts as 5, then probably. If it counts as 1, then definitely not.

Who was the last person you were under a blanket with? Uhhhhhh my little sister!

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed? Yes

Who was the last person to call you? My pops.

Have you ever kissed someone inside a vehicle? Yes, but never under it. lol

How are you feeling? Bored. Obv.

How does your hair look? Straight but stringy. Im sick of it.

Would you ever try being a vegetarian? Do or do not, there is no try! but yes.

What do you carry with you at all times? Phone, credit card and keys.

This time last year, can you remember who you liked? Will

Have you ever gone out of your way to make someone happy? Ya but it usually backfires. Making people happy without intending to make them happy is a safer option.

Any plans for summer? Nothing definite just yet!

Do you believe teenagers can fall in love? Yeah but its immature.

Will you be in a relationship next month? probably not.

Does sex mean love? They are two different things. Does chicken mean turkey? wtf.

What are you doing for your next birthday? Probably eating a piece of candy and walking around the tropics without makeup on.

If your girlfriend/boyfriend broke up with you tonight, where would you go? I'd go home. And be really confused since I don't have one.

What are you wearing on your feet? Socks.

Have you ever had feelings for someone who was seeing someone else? I like married men all the time.

What are your plans for tomorrow? Work and greys.

How old are your siblings, if you have any? 23, 19 and 4

Is your birthday in less than 6 months? No :( I love my birthday!

Would you rather get stuck on an island with your ex or a python? My ex. Unless its a now-married ex. Then I'd rather choose the python.

Do you get upset over the opposite sex easily? Not really, probably just about average.

Do you live closer to the desert or a body of water? I live in a desert.

Confession #14

2011-03-22T20:25:00.002-06:00

At some point this morning as I was finishing my last section of curls I realized, "This is not how I planned to do my hair at all. How did I end up with curls?"

And it still looked damn good.

Oh

2011-03-10T21:48:00.004-07:00

Hey, Life.

You're pretty great.

Even when you aren't.

Loveyoukthanksbye.

PS I'm excited for spring and then summer and planting things and eating the things i plant and having a beautiful flower garden for hopefully one more summer (because first year gardens aren't ever as great as second year gardens and this will be year two). and then i will be moving on with my life. It's coming. I know it is.

5 things

2011-02-26T19:06:00.004-07:00

5 things in my bedroom:

1. Treadmill

2. My big bed

3. Ipod

4. TV

5. Curtain-less curtain rods

Five things that make me happy:

1. Being busy

2. My family

3. I make me happy

4. Denver

5. Bread

5 things you may not know about me:

1. I can walk on my toes

2. I'm mormon

3. I couldn't spell the word "done" until I was probably a teen

4. I kissed a boy for the first time at 14. We hit teeth. Gross.

5. I want a really large family

Five things I've done today:

1. Swept and mopped my entire house

2. Slept in till 11

3. Wasted a lot of time

4. 5 loads of laundry

5. Shopped for emerald earrings

Five things I'm grateful for:

1. Good friends

2. A job

3. My little sister

4. A car

5. The priesthood

I struggled with most of these. I want to put more than five things.

I'd Tip My Hat to Anyone

2011-02-23T21:36:00.006-07:00

While it seems that much of the north western part of the country is concerning themselves with blizzards, I am alone in my house with little to do.

Here are some incredibly classy shots of myself. Now after viewing them, you may think, "What was the point of those incredibly uninteresting photos?" or "Why is she showing us how severe her acne is at the post-pubescent age of 22? Gross." Scroll down and I'll tell you.

I direct this specifically to those concerned about the snowfall at this moment. I want you to know that today was a beautifully warm day in the San Luis Valley.

AND

It appears my forehead doesn't wrinkle. You know how basically everyone in the world gets line's on their foreheads when they raise their eyebrows? I don't. I LOVE that about myself. Seriously!! Either does my mom. And I love that about her.

I have such a hard life. Oh the things that concern me! HAHAH. How glad I am that I finally took some eyebrow initiative over the weekend so that this post wasn't too out of control!

I wish Colorado had an IKEA. I desperately need curtains in my bedroom. Although the neighbor boys might disagree.

Trash Talk

2011-02-17T17:25:00.004-07:00

What is up with people posting all of their old clothing and crap on their blogs to sell? I don't get it. I don't get consignments. I don't get 2nd hand stores. I don't get it. I'm not saying these don't have a place in society and that you cant get REALLY great deals there. I get that some people never even wear clothes they purchase so they may as well go to someone in need for an incredible deal. But I did my internship in a homeless shelter that had a thrift store, and the people that shopped there weren't even homeless or always "needy"! They were just cheap. Some of them were even straight up insane. One guy would come in every Saturday and buy bag fulls of women's underwear. It scarred me. Even better? One time he came in with his wife... I can promise you that no amount of effort would have fit her into the underwear he was purchasing.

Anyway, all this to say:

One man's trash is NOT another man's treasure. One man's trash is still TRASH! (except maybe the man with the women's underwear fetish. treasure away mister, treasure away)

I am choosing to be close minded on the matter and I do not want anyone ranting at me about how great musty stores with other peoples crap in them are. My opinion is that they are about as great as landfills. Post something on your own blog if you want to disagree.

Crap Post

2011-02-14T16:55:00.005-07:00

2011 has been crap. I think it's been crap for a lot of people so mostly I've just tried to keep it to myself but now I'm not keeping it to myself. I can be selfish one day in 6 weeks. So shut up.

Work sucks. There have been a lot of really negative, really unfair, almost unethical changes take place. At first I was all "oh this is good, change is hard but always good!" about it. Now, I hate it. None of them have been positive, it is not working, I am so stressed. Not only that, but it is negatively affecting one of my favorite people in the world and I hate that they are putting her through this! It makes me so sad but I have no idea how to help in any way! I hardly slept last night and I didn't even do my hair today, I think for the first time ever. Great.

Death sucks. I have had so many friends and one family member die. It has been so hard. I am glad for my grandma that she finally gets to move forward and start progressing again. Heaven knows she wasn't doing that down here anymore. But it is still emotional and trying and especially for those my age that are passing. It's so heartbreaking.

Boys suck. How come I date a million people all year long, except during the holidays and valentines? I'm not even slightly bitter about valentines day at all. I love it. But goodness gracious I need some love, people!

You know what else sucks? I'll tell you. What sucks is that sometimes I ask other people's opinions; I ask because I want to know, I want the truth. If I didn't, I would just give myself the answer I was looking for. But what sucks is when you ask someone and they just tell you what they think you want to hear. Who are you servicing by doing that? I don't get it.

Fitness sucks. I have not even worked out once since the week before Christmas. Ladies and gentlemen, that is disgusting. It is effecting my mood and my waist. This is changing immediately.

Shitty families suck. I don't get how perfectly good people that do the things they know are right and live good, healthy lives fail to have families as big or as soon as they desire them, and sometimes even at all. But stupid girls with old men, fat men, lazy men, uninvolved men, MIA men, and even without men get pregnant and give birth to the most beautiful innocent babies ever. And keep them. That is so not fair. Some of us can't even find someone that we would like to actually let hold our hands, and nasty girls are out getting pregnant and pretending like its a good thing. I'm here to tell you it's not.

Other bad things in no particular order: My car is dying. The shoes I wore today smell. I think I lost my love for ice cream. My eyebrows are out of control. Have you ever noticed that ugly people attract ugly people? I ate a lot of crap today. By that I mean probably... 10 chocolate covered pretzels. I broke a glass salad dish yesterday ALL. OVER. What's even better? I had owned the thing for about 10 minutes. It was so beautiful. It cut my hand. I miss it.

But because I'm not really a Negative Nancy, I will share with you my good things in life - I do know that I am blessed, even if I am in this stupid, depressed funk. I had three sleep overs with my little sister in the past 2 weeks. I love her. One day I woke up with her feet on my face. Precious. I applied for a home loan today. wika wika whatttt? yup. I ordered some boots last week... for $17. No big. My dad brought me my treadmill from home last week. No more gym membership that I clearly wasn't even using. Yay. I'm going to make my very first trip to a liquor store some time soon. I'm excited for that. I am making homemade vanilla extract for my mom. I already bought the vanilla and the jar. Now I just need some vodka! I ate 10 chocolate covered pretzels today. I moved into the master bedroom in my house. I got my tax return back 5 days after submitting it. I have an appointment March 2nd to dye my hair red. Yup. I opened box number two of some chocolates my aunt graciously gave me for my "birthday." The entire box is covered in chocolate sprinkles. I'm in round two of heaven. Round one was during the first box.

Did anyone even read this far? Good day.

Confession #13

2011-01-18T18:34:00.005-07:00

My food choices are driven by sprinkles.

I love sprinkles.

Especially chocolate ones.

NYE in LV NV.

2011-01-08T16:09:00.022-07:00

The first night we got there we dropped our stuff off and headed straight to the strip. I think it's fair to say we were both in awe. I have never been. It was incredible. And cold. But beautiful. It was amazing. The next two days we just

played and saw the sights and were just total tourists. It was a lot of fun. We met a good amount of people from Colorado which was fun too. We went on the New York New York roller coaster which was probably one of my favorite experiences from the trip. We tried to go on the rides at the stratosphere but they were closed because of alllll the stupid wind and then the next day because of the upcoming fireworks show.

On New Year's eve we slept in, layed in the hot tub, saw the

Beatle's show Love, and partied in the streets until midnight.

It was AMAZING. soooooo AMAZING. I just cannot even describe. That day was so fun. The show was incredible. Drunk people hit on us like crazy. A group of like 15 guys saw us and yelled like they were in visual heaven. It was so fun hahah. Only in Vegas.

My dad text me every day I was there. When I got back my

mom said "I don't know what your dad's deal was but he wouldn't go to bed without knowing you were okay. And I was just like whatever, I'm going to bed!" Hahah so my mom. And so cute of my dad :) He loves me.

Now here is a personal story from the trip that you would never think possible in Vegas: I've been struggling. I know that the gospel is true. I know that the church is true. But I don't always have my priorities in line. I'm TRYING, but so is Satan. I've been having a hard time lately, following the things that I know are right. I've been wanting to give it all up so I could have "fun" again. I know now is not the time to be having those thoughts because I'm in a really good place

in my life and those kind's of choices can easily determine the rest of my life in a negative way. So we go and I tell Serenity that I really just want to party and forget everything. She doesn't say a word. She just let me say what I wanted and didn't say do it, don't do it, nothing. So I'm like okay. I didn't party or do anything I shouldn't have while we were in Vegas, although it would have been the prime opportunity if I was going to.

By the end of the trip, there are drunk people everywhere. Men that can't keep their hands to themselves. Women that can't keep their feet on the ground.

People spending more money then i make in a month.

People convincing themselves through their money and alcohol and flattery from other people that they are happy. But really they aren't. You could just tell that these people were not truly happy. I had a huge epiphany moment that even though I struggle, even though I'm going to continue to struggle, I'm at the right place in my life and I'm doing okay.

I don't need to party to have fun or to be happy. I need to just keep doing the right things and eventually I'll be blessed with the experiences and testimony that I need. Everything just came full circle for me... in Vegas of all places.

I know that the Church is true. I know that God knows all, that we are commanded to live to a higher standard for a reason.

I have a big announcement coming up hopefully within the next month or two. Get ready people. It's gonna be good.

New Year, New Post.

2011-01-08T15:23:00.009-07:00

I have too many things to say. I'm probably not even going to touch on half of it. Holidays 2010 were amazing. They are going to be hard to top, ever.

I have a hard time getting into the true meaning of Christmas - I am more grateful than ever for the life of Jesus Christ and for all that he overcame so that I can return to my Father in Heaven. I am grateful for his real life of poverty and betrayal. That even in his perfection, he still asked God to "let this cup pass from me." I am grateful for his atonement that overcomes more aspects about life than I can even begin to comprehend. But let's be honest, kids. I like stuff. I like gifts. I like getting and I like giving and I like both of those things to be quality.

After at least 10 whole years of begging for it, I convinced my mom that this was a good idea. We ended up getting it for more than half off. It is so big it does not fit on my counter tops. The top cabinets get in the way. But that's okay. Because its BEAUTIFUL. I haven't even used it yet. And it's worth about us much as my laptop AND my couches, the only valuable things I own. Ha. I love it. I can't wait to turn it on hahah.

DRUM ROLL PLEASE............

Sometimes, I wish that I wouldn't regret it, cuz I really want a tattoo. Not a tacky one. Something beautiful. On my back. Random.

Ok anyway, so I didn't end up getting a ton of things for Christmas because I got that bad boy. My brother had bought me some matching KitchenAid measuring cups/spoons and given them to me a long time ago so I didn't actually get anything else AT Christmas. But my little sister got a boat-load! Goodness that girl makes out! So spoiled. But I loved it. I love good gifts. I am rambling. It was still an amazing Christmas and I ate a ton. I think I'm better about celebrating the life of Christ during Easter. Maybe that's why we celebrate it twice...?

Then, I was a bridesmaid in a wedding for a really good friend of mine from college. She is originally from Fort Collins and had her wedding in Denver. So the 27th and 28th were full of wedding festivities, appointments, and running around Denver/Fort Collins like a crazy person. By the time it was all over, I was SOOOOO ready to just go home. I just wanted to be back at my house and back in my routine. But I had already made other plans. And had already taken 10 days off work... so.... off to Vegas I went! Serenity and I have been making tentative plans to travel together for some time but never actually followed through, for whatever reasons. But this time, we did it. It was SUCH a good vacation. That post, next!

In other news, a childhood friend of mine passed away this week from a horrific accident. She had just married and was expecting a beautiful baby. She had been through SO much already and had finally, I think, found the happiness she deserved. It is so heartbreaking to watch her family and friends have to deal with this. But I know that the Lord know's what he is doing. Her and her baby are in the heaven's above together still, watching out for her family, her husband, and reunited with their loved ones. Hug someone you love today, hug someone you're mad at, hug someone you want to love. Life is too short not to. My prayers are with the Hendrickson's, Godfrey's, and with anyone aching from the loss of Aryn. So saddening.

Confession #12

2010-12-10T06:51:00.001-07:00

Everything I own can fit in rubber bins.

Day "Everything I Missed"

2010-12-05T20:25:00.008-07:00

What happened, you ask? Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is what happened and then I didn't care anymore. So here's everything all in one happy blog! And I'm only finishing it a couple days late.

Day 24. A photo of something that means a lot to me.

My Family. My family means a lot to me.

Tell me I'm not the cutest. Even next to a newborn. Goodness.

Day 26. A Photo of Somewhere I've been.

Canada. Bet you weren't expecting that one.

Day 27. A photo of me a year ago and now and how I've changed since then.

So I'm only going to include photos from last year. Hopefully we will be able to get together again this year, per tradition, and I will be able to post that photo in another blog post.

Brelynn (as a single lady), me, and Serenity, December 2009.

Awwwww. Love them.

And this one from last year too. Just because it makes me laugh. Hard.

I feel like I have changed in every possible way since last year. Last year I was in my Senior year at BYUI. I had just finished the GRE and all of my grad school applications. I was dating for the first time since starting school. I was playing all the time and pretending like I didn't have homework. I was getting to know my roommate Sam. I turned 21. I was addicted to the gym and fake tanning (a necessary evil in Idaho). I was making paper guns and shooting my roommates with them. I thought I had a clue who I was and who I wanted to be and where I was going. I was wrong.

Now I am 22 years old and didn't go to grad school. I am working at a dead-end job that I love at a hospital in a rural town in southern Colorado. I am loving that I decided I was ready to start dating. I am learning more and more how to let the Lord lead my life, instead of insisting that I am the one in control. I live alone in a little house. I feed stray cats. I hate cats. I mop floors on the weekends and dust ceiling fans. I have a degree. I pay an electric bill, a water bill, a gas bill, an internet bill. This crap adds up. I'm trying to become addicted to the gym again. I'm learning how to take care of my body and my spirit.

I've grown up a lot in the last year. I feel like a legitimate adult in so many ways. At the same time, so many things HAVEN'T changed. I am still finding my place in this world. I am still trying to let the Lord guide my life. I'm still just living a little life, in a little town, with very little responsibility outside of myself. My life is still so good.

Tired yet?

Day 28 - My favorite movie....

drum roll pleaseeeeee...

The Notebook! Go figure.

But when did they ever have a "Noah washing her hair in the bathtub on a rooftop" scene....??? Weird.

Day 29 - Something I could never get tired of doing.

Running. I love running. So much. But what's up with this girl running in her underwear without shoes on? Almost as weird as the never before scene photo of naked Notebook characters washing eachothers' hair(s).

Day 30 - A photo of myself today and three good things that have happened in the past.

1. I was born.

2. I have had 22 birthday's since.

3. I have met all of my best friends, who make my life soooooo much better!

Day 25

2010-11-26T15:58:00.002-07:00

What's in my purse, you ask?

I know I forgot yesterday, it was Thanksgiving afterall. I'll post a photo of what means a lot to me after I get back home. And I don't feel like taking a picture of the inside of my purse so I'll jus tell you.

Super cute wallet I just bought. Not very functional, but cute.
Lotion.
Hand sanitizer.
Pencil.
Chapstick.
Etch-a-sketch. (Good church pass-timer.)
Folding ruler.
Lots of old paper and receipts.
Coin Purse.
Absolutely no money. Feel bad for me? Want to change that? My birthday's coming up next week :)

Day 2... uh... 20 something...

2010-11-24T20:48:00.002-07:00

15 Facts About Me

I love to travel.
I am OBSESSED with snuggling. I love to snuggle.
I got my bachelors degree in 2 years and 3 months. (I hated Idaho that much.)
I have a hard time letting go.
I enjoy reading.
I hate facebook but I get bored when I get rid of it.
I HATE tv, so I don't have it.
I like bread.
I have an obsession with money. I love it. Too much.
I'm having a difficult time coming up with 15 facts about me.
I have a lot of self confidence, I know I am going to go far in life, its true!
I'm terrified of marriage.
I want my own family... some day.
I have the best life a girl could ever ask for.
My birthday is my favorite holiday. It just so happens to be 6 days away.

And, I like to party.

Day 21 and 22

2010-11-23T17:34:00.004-07:00

Yup, I forgot again. My baddddddd. This little girl was busy yesterday.

A photo of something that makes me happy!

I vote TWO photos of thingS that make me happy!

This little girl makes me the happiest girl on earth. I LOVE her and her adorable little things she says like, "Noooo, you're not pretty. Your hairs a MESS!" and "Cory... I like your snacks." The way she combines burp and fart into "bart" and calls butterflies "fireflies". The way she hides behind me when she's scared, and the way she introduced me to Kelie when I went home one weekend.

What else could possibly make me happy, after such a cute face, you ask?

MEN WITH HAIRY FACES IN BASEBALL UNIFORMS! Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter in the same photo? With scruff? I'd pay $300 a seat to see that. Guess I'll settle for this photo instead.

What else makes me happy?? Money. New things. Having a ton of really good friends. Good hair days. Snuggling. Unusually warm days that don't warrant turning the heat on in my house. Watching other people get pulled over.

What doesn't make me happy? This next question: A letter to someone who has hurt me recently.

Dear Person that has hurt me recently,

Remember that time you told me you felt like you never treat me well? Remember how I didn't respond? I didn't want to lie. I didn't want to have to agree. You have NEVER treated me well. But I liked you and I wanted to keep you around. We had a ton of fun. I was happy with you. I'm sorry that you are too self-focused and full of inward flattery to realize when I need a friend. I'm sorry you couldn't let go of your past mistakes towards me. I'm glad that you recognize them but sad that you never tried to make an attempt to be different. And sad that you didn't take the opportunity to let things be different, to just be the friend I need when I need a friend.

Lucky for you, I have a lot of other REALLY good people in my life. I am really blessed to be surrounded by amazing people, people that do treat me right, people that like to introduce me to their friends, people that wouldn't let go of my hand if they ran into a girl they knew at the movie theater. I don't need you, I never did. But that doesn't mean that I couldn't have used your support. That doesn't mean that I didn't want to need you. And that doesn't give you the right to pretend like I never existed, like you did. And then to come back into my life whenever you deem necessary, as rare as that is.

And incase you curious, the answer is: Yes, I know. And I hope they don't like her. Or that you knock her up and ruin the rest of your life :) Because I'm spiteful like that.

Love,

Me :)

Only 8 days left of this thing!

Day 20

2010-11-21T11:45:00.002-07:00

Meaning behind my blog name...

ITS MY NAME!

and another picture of me just to make this post worth something.

Day 19

2010-11-20T14:22:00.002-07:00

A Photo of Me!!! Yippee!!!

Taken by Sam Kauffman.

Day 18

2010-11-19T17:37:00.003-07:00

I crave attention. When I was about 18 I had to give a talk in church. My mom asked me if I was nervous. I answered back honestly, "No, I kind of like the idea of having a whole room of people looking at me." I have no idea if the Spirit was at that meeting or not, I just remember I looked really, really good. I love when people notice me.

I also crave being physically touched, whether it be a back rub, having my hair played with, my arm tickled, you name it.

These are The Things I Crave.

Day 17

2010-11-18T21:37:00.003-07:00

A photo of me with my fam bam

with the Ma.

with the Sis.

and an adorable picture of my favorite little girl.

Day 16 - My Celebrity Crush

2010-11-17T21:13:00.001-07:00

Today, I don't want to do this thing. Today, I'm having a really hard day. Today, I feel disgusted with myself inside and out. Today is not a good day for celebrity crushes. I don't have one today.

Days 14 & 15

2010-11-16T17:58:00.002-07:00

Looks like I spoke to soon. I forgot all about this little thing yesterday.

I'm addicted to Grey's Anatomy. In fact, being too cheap to spend money on cable television means that Grey's is the ONLY show I watch! On my laptop. Usually about 3 weeks after a new episode when I realize I am really far behind and haven't watched it in awhile.

What do I never leave the house without, you ask?

My keys! My doors are locked constantly so if you forget the keys, you're screwed. Also, in college I would go to class without my cell phone, just to pretend like I was a real person living 30 years ago, and I loved it. I try not to be addicted to that thing, even though I am. So sometimes, even now, I totally leave the house without my cell phone. I worry though, that I'll accidently leave the house without my cell phone... or my keys! THEN what would I do?!?

Day 13

2010-11-14T18:24:00.001-07:00

my favorite musician and why

Kurt Cobain. Yes I am being serious. Why, you ask? What kind of question is that?? 'Cause he was amazing! That's why!

Day 11 & 12

2010-11-13T18:10:00.003-07:00

Even though I forgot yesterday, I'm pretty impressed with my ability to stick with this thing!

Yesterday was What's in my makeup bag?

Eye shadows, L'oreal mascara, eyeliners, powder, blush, a comb and mirror... and lots of other crap!

And Day 12 is A photo of the town I live in.

Ya obviously I couldn't find one... but heres the San Dunes and they are real close to Alamosa! Does that count...?

Day 10

2010-11-11T19:39:00.007-07:00

A photo of my favorite place to eat:

Oh boy. Now this is my kind of survey. In no particular order:

Texas Roadhouse!!!

Panera!!!

Quizno's!!!

My Alamosa favorite, Hunan's!

Cheesecake Factory!!!

Also on the list would be Renzio's, Red Robin, and anyplace with legit mexican food. My most favorite of all, however, would be The Backyard in Rexburg. May you rest in peace. Or come back from the dead. Please.

Anyone that knows me well, is not surprised by any of these. Anyone that knows me well knows that I used to NEVER eat out. It is the biggest waste of money, ever, and I like to cook. So I just never ate out. Let's just say... college changed that.

P.S. Trulee, milk only tastes strange out of a box because it's not full of the residual plastic particles we are used to everything tasting like. And by "tastes funny," I think you meant "tastes SO much better." :)

Day 9

2010-11-10T19:03:00.002-07:00

A photo of the last thing I purchased:

Milk.

In a box.

From Safeway.

The only way I like it.

Day 8

2010-11-09T21:54:00.003-07:00

A song to match my mood

I had a hard time picking a song because I don't really know that I am aware of exactly what my mood is at the moment. I am going through a lot and having a hard time letting go of things that I should have just dropped months ago. I really like Red Ragtop by Tim McGraw. We can't live in the past. We can't change how we behaved yesterday. But I have today to work on and tomorrow to plan for.

And also I love this song and think it could describe my mood. I could really use a wish right now.

Two songs for the price of one!

Day 7

2010-11-08T21:19:00.002-07:00

My Dream Wedding

Ugh. If you couldn't already tell, I hate stupid ones like this. I DON'T KNOW, how could I plan it already?? But, yet again, I will answer just for the sake of the survey. I sure am whiny about this thing aren't I? Sorry.

Ok. It would definitely be with someone that is dead sexy, looks great with his shirt off or in a baseball uniform (preferably both), and has a bunch of other higher quality attributes that I want but am not going to list because this is not a Beehive's class.

When I was little, I always wanted to be married in the DC temple, for more information on that, go here! But really, who cares where it is if it's in the right place. I will not, I repeat, WILL NOT be wearing a dress with cap sleeves. Gag me. And my wedding ring will not be mass produced. And my bridal party will not be fat.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, shows how truly shallow I probably am. And maybe also that I really don't like answering stupid stuff like this. Better luck with tomorrow's topic: A song to match my mood. I better start thinking tonight hahah

Day 6

2010-11-07T22:13:00.003-07:00

A photo of an animal I'd love to keep as a pet

Disclaimer: Zoo animals aren't good house pets; that's why they live in zoo's. But this blog survey thing is not reality. It is a blog. So I will indulge you with... A KOALA!

But only if someone else cleaned up the poo. Maybe I could house train it...

Nevermind, I think I'll stick to dogs.

HAHAHAHAHAH. And babies. FREAKIN' ADORABLE!

Day 5

2010-11-07T21:56:00.006-07:00

A photo of myself two years ago

Coincidently, it is also one of my favorite photos of a best friend. So it can help make up for yesterdays one photo post a little bit.

You can't tell but I had brown hair, and short. Funny how much can change in 2 years. Not just the length of my hair... but everything. I was dropping out of school, buying furniture for my new place in Denver, being an all around bad person. Live and learn.

Day 4

2010-11-06T20:37:00.002-06:00

Favorite Picture of my Best Friend

I'm out of town this weekend and now a day behind because of it. But I love this picture of me and Sam. We used to take pictures of ourselves in the middle of church all the time. It was super obvious and super distracting. But we got some good pictures that way! And the brilliant idea for me to go super blonde, which I am now and love.

I don't want to fail to give credit to my other best friends but I don't have my own computer and I had this one on my phone already. Sorry guys, but I love you too :)

I'll have to do today's blog tomorrow since I don't even have any pictures of me that long ago.

Day 3

2010-11-04T16:28:00.006-06:00

My Idea of the Perfect First Date

Honestly, I don't think there is such a thing. The PERFECT first date? If it's a first date you probably don't know them that well and you are still on your best behavior... there really isn't a TON of fun in that.. even if you hit it off well.

But if I had my way, I think I would really enjoy any date if it included the following:

a) it was with a guy I was crushing on

b) he was assertive

c) no games (had good intentions, was genuinely interested in me, etc.)

d) he knew what he wanted to accomplish, and I was one of those things

Basically, I like forward guys who are up for anything, who make their interest obvious, who are not immature, and are attractive to me.

That's not a lot to ask for... is it?

(Also, if he wanted to wear a baseball uniform the entire time, I'd be okay with that... I promise my intentions with that are not dishonorable :) )

*** After thought *** I was recently reminded of a date I went on where I ordered soup and salad at Chili's cuz it looked really really good. It's what I wanted. So it's what I ordered. When the waitress walked away the guy immediately said "Did you seriously just order salad???" Gentlemen, do not question what a girl orders. Especially when eating out, salads are SO far from healthy. They are not even easy date foods cuz they are kind of difficult to eat. I was not trying to prove my health with the salad, or trying to eat light. All of the corn and friend chicken and spanish seasoned dressing sounded really good to me. That is why I ordered it. Girls should never have to think twice about ordering what they actually want... How rude. Lucky for him, I already knew how great he would have looked in a baseball uniform so I let it slide...

Day 2

2010-11-03T16:40:00.005-06:00

A Photo of Something I Ate Today

After I ate breakfast this morning (which was cottage cheese and sliced strawberries) I remembered that I needed to take a picture of something I ate. But it was too late. Then for lunch we celebrated my bosses' birthday. It wasn't something I planned, and I got so excited about having my first hamburger in weeks that I forgot to take a picture of it. So obviously, for lunch I had half of a delicious cheeseburger and a whole order of fries. Yum. Then I remembered that I was supposed to take a picture of it. So instead, you get this picture.

Today I ate my weight in smarties. The custodian ladies probably think I have a problem every time they empty my trash. I love smarties. I dropped one on the floor but I was busy and didn't care, then a patient came into my office to yell at me about his ER bill and how Novocain doesn't cost $498 and why did I charge him so much... then he stops, says, "You dropped a pill on the floor over there..." I think he thought I was doing drugs or something haha. I said "It's candy." He said "Oh. Well are you gonna take care of this bill or what!?"

So that's what I've eaten today.

Day 1

2010-11-02T20:09:00.003-06:00

A photo of me. Yay.

My day was gooood. Can't complain. I just went to work, ate some smarties, went out with the missionaries, went to institute, and now I'm doin my laundry. Not a lot to it really.

30 Day Blog Challenge

2010-11-02T20:07:00.001-06:00

As you may or may not know, I am a follower. I've seen a million people do this. Now I am too.

Day 1 – A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.
Day 2 – A photo of something you ate today.
Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date.
Day 4 – Your favorite photograph of your best friend.
Day 5 – A photo of yourself two years ago.
Day 6 – A photo of an animal you’d love to keep as a pet.
Day 7 – Your dream wedding.
Day 8 – A song to match your mood.
Day 9 – A photo of the item you last purchased.
Day 10 – A photo of your favorite place to eat.
Day 11 – What’s in your makeup bag?
Day 12 – A photograph of the town you live in.
Day 13 – Your favorite musician and why?
Day 14 – A TV show you’re currently addicted to.
Day 15 – Something you don’t leave the house without.
Day 16 – Your celebrity crush.
Day 17 – A photo of you and your family.
Day 18 – Something you crave a lot.
Day 19 – Another picture of yourself.
Day 20 – The meaning behind your blog name.
Day 21 – A photo of something that makes you happy.
Day 22 – A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Day 23 – 15 facts about you.
Day 24 – A photo of something that means a lot to you.
Day 25 – What’s in your purse?
Day 26 – A photo of somewhere you’ve been to.
Day 27 – A picture of you last year and now and how have you changed since then?
Day 28 – Your favorite movie.
Day 29 – Something you could never get tired of doing.
Day 30 – A photograph of yourself today + three good things that have happened in the past.

Can I Buy A P, Please?

2010-09-08T20:59:00.003-06:00

My last two months in Photograph:

Put up some curtains. Now theres a vase in that corner with tall stuff hanging out. I also moved the chair in the other corner closer to the fireplace to make room for a spectacular bookcase. Maybe in another few months I'll get around to taking newer pictures. :)

Looking chub at cheesecake, with the girls.

Looking adorable at anthro with my favorite little girl!! I can't get enough!

Pretty sure thats all I've actually taken pictures of, even though it has been pretty much a nonstop summer with family visiting, lots of dating, a promotion, a new gym membership... life is so good to me. Don't feel too neglected--I actually just caught up on ordering photographs taken all the way back in January on up through this last weekend. You aren't the only thing I fail at!

Side Note: HUNGER GAMES!!! Need I say more?!

Confession #11

2010-07-02T13:07:00.000-06:00

I have a hard time getting out of the car while I'm talking on the phone. I usually just have to sit there until the conversation is over before I go inside.

Car Accidents and Cute Boys

2010-06-28T01:08:00.005-06:00

I was able to go home this past weekend for the first time in over a month. On the way, I hit a stopped car, didn't get a ticket, got stopped in terrible traffic, my car overheated, and I made it 45 minutes late to an appointment I had in Denver. I was soooo frustrated and done with life!

So far the trip has proved to be well worth it, despite the car ride here. My radiator is now being replaced so maybe the trip back won't be so bad.

(Isn't she cute?!)

I went to the spa, slept, met a friend for lunch (which I was also very late to, due to both a dead GPS and a dead cell phone, UGH!), shopped, went swimming with the little sister, went on some dates, visited with some other friends, went to the childhood best friend's wedding reception (nuts!), and just fell in love with Denver all over again. I like to think that I can be happy anywhere; the reality of the matter is that I can, but I'm definitely happier some places than others. Denver tops the list.

(I have no idea why my face is splotchy. Oh well.)

I've ended up with twice as many days off as I was expecting, so I have three days left here to do whatever I want! How nice it is!

2010-06-23T06:26:00.001-06:00

I never want to call my husband "Dad."

Ew.

the neighbor parks his ugly truck a block away

2010-06-17T20:16:00.004-06:00

Amidst all of my recent struggles (and trust me, there have been way more than I could have ever imagined, or would ever hope on another) I know that all is not lost. There is a plan for me. My Father in Heaven has a strong hand guiding my life. And regardless of the actions of others, I know that if I try my hardest to be my best, he will bless me with much more happiness than I could ever imagine or hope for.

How sweet it is.

2010-06-15T11:37:00.004-06:00

I haven't blogged in so long! And still nothing blog-worthy going on. So just a quick update, I suppose.

Still hate my job, still looking for a new one.

May be moving back to Denver sooner than expected.

I can hardly breathe without vomiting, it seems.

I feel like I wasted the last month of my life. That is a hard realization to come to.

Have my first test today for my Communicative Disorders class. Wish me luck!

Dropped another class to spend time with a boy. Sometimes furthering education can be more important than taking other steps in life. I should have known.

The deers are eating all of my plants. I am livid with them.

I hate that the trash truck comes on Tuesday. I don't know why. I always wish that it came on Wednesday. That seems a lot easier to remember.

The Lord has such a strong hand guiding my life. How grateful I am for that.

Sometimes though, I'm still discouraged. I am active, I do everything that I am supposed to, to the best of my ability. Why bad things still happen when we are promised comfort and less temptation, I will never know.

I am going to start making a greater effort at making friends. I need more people in my life. I need more to do. I miss finding happiness through others.

I don't know what it is about me that hates eating alone but I do! Maybe someday someone will want to eat with me! hahah. how menial.

Sometimes I appear melodramatic but my emotions are entirely too real.

Confession #10

2010-05-27T20:28:00.000-06:00

I forget what certain experiences were like for me. When people give excuses because they have this and this and this going on, I think "those are just excuses." Then when I really reflect on what those experiences were like for me I realize that I had to give those same excuses because they were overwhelming for me too.

I need to work on it.

Confession #9

2010-05-18T18:28:00.002-06:00

I think if I tilt my computer screen down I won't be able to see up people's noses in photos.

It never works.

Today I...

2010-05-15T17:37:00.006-06:00

went to the garden center and bought flowers for some pots I bought on 4/20. :)

put the pots together. they look real good on my porch. pray that it won't freeze please.

met my neighbor. he crossed the street while we were both out there to introduce himself. nice man. now i just need to meet his son!

swept my steps.

got gas.

went to walmart to buy a nozzle for my hose.

wished i could afford a trampoline.

used the nozzle attachment to wash the bugs and cobwebs off the outside of my house. it looks so good now.

filled my garbage can with more garbage from the previously mentioned tenants. I'm going to be moving out of here years from now, leaving their garbage for other people. there is just so much.

wished i owned a lawn mower so i could mow my lawn again.

wished the back lawn would grow. it does not look good!

got chased by the largest bee i have ever seen. probably the size of my thumb. not an exaggeration. i heard it before i saw it. then i almost peed my pants.

did my dishes TWICE. personal record.

made peanut butter chip brownies.

left my front door open ALL day. it was that warm.

let my broken heart heal, even if only a little bit.

scheduled an appointment to get my hair cut next week. it is so dead.

Now I am eating said brownies with ice cream that I may have purchased when I bought the nozzle. Life is so good. I am so blessed. It's funny how things work out. Shocking almost.

I could, however, still use someone to eat with.

Debbi Downer

2010-05-11T16:57:00.002-06:00

Pictures are still coming. I know that I could just take them now but I need help putting a few heavy things up on the walls so I'm waiting until my parents come down. I don't want to post pictures twice. Everything is going to look so much better once the decoration is done and the old tenants' garbage is finally gone. What a process. So, be patient my friends.

I am not loving my job at all. Certain things I enjoy but mostly I hate it. I had a lot of guilt at first about quitting after they train me if I find a better job but now I'm over it and have accepted three calls for interviews. Two this week, one next. Wish me luck!

I am not loving living here either. I love having my own place and doing my own thing, I just don't have any friends. It's lonely. Ideally, I'd be back in Denver so that is my goal for the end of summer. I may stay longer if I end up getting/loving a new job because it is just so convenient to be here. I know that it is a great opportunity to be here regardless of my love for it because it is allowing me to make decent money and pay off all my school/moving debt. It will be hard to go back to having roommates and living in an apartment again like I am going to have to do if I do go back to Denver.

My heart is broken.

I haven't been running in a month! Can you believe it? Probably part of the reason I am hating my life lately. It is just so hard to get into a new routine when my schedule is different every week. Ugh.

Someone keeps walking through my backyard. I want to put up no trespassing signs. I looked up how to spell it in Spanish because I think the little boys doing it are Spanish. I don't remember what it was though. I know it sounds petty but they NEVER shut the gate behind themselves which provides another entrance for the effing deer!

Lastly, I miss having my best friend as my roommate. I have no one to buy pizza with or eat junkfood with. Eating alone is a drag.

Maybe my next post will be full of flowers and sunshine. But this one isn't.

They come, they poop, they leave.

2010-05-01T19:16:00.008-06:00

Just a few of the local deer coming to town for dinner.

So glad they were on the other side of the street this time.

Confession #8

2010-04-26T18:50:00.001-06:00

I always pose my toes when taking pictures. Always. Even though my toes aren't in the picture. I think it's the gymnast in me.

Growing Up

2010-04-21T13:41:00.002-06:00

I've been intending to post but without internet for about 4 days, I couldn't. But now I have internet. And a new laptop. And no desire to transfer all of my graduation pictures to this laptop. So, ladies and gentlemen, you're stuck with my words.

I graduated on April 10 (I'm sure no one forgot that) and moved home the next day. Tuesday my dad and I drove down to southern Colorado for a job interview at the hospital. Afterwards, we took care of a few things at my great-grandma's old house and then headed home. It was a lot of driving for just one interview. I was hoping to be able to set up multiple interviews for that day but no such luck. Thursday they called to let me know that I had the job if I was interested. I accepted.

Friday we all went shopping so I could buy furniture for my new house (my great-grandma's old one that is rented out) as well as professional clothes. Living according to BYU-I standards for the last two and a half years has given my closet two things: lots of sneakers and lots of jeans. Not exactly professional, by any means. My mom, little sister and I went to American Furniture Warehouse where I found the perfect living room set. Pictures to come after I completely finish decorating... It's a work in progress. I bought bedroom furniture when I was in highschool. Lucky me to not have to drop another chunk of change on that! Now i just need a desk and a kitchen table. I also bought tons of clothes. My mom was much better at picking things out that are work appropriate than I am (with the exception of a few things). We got home really late that night, packed up in the morning, drove back to Denver to pick up my furniture, and drove straight down to Alamosa and started unpacking.

We got there really late but by the end of the night we had most everything set up. There are a bunch of holes in the leather at the bottom of my couch where it looks like they were drug... dragged.... whatever.... across a floor. So I have to pay $50 of my own money for someone elses mistake to get them to come down here and deliver me a new one. And wait over a month for it to come. Ugh. But I'm still using this one so oh well. Sunday morning we finished cleaning and unpacking most of the stuff, went to my grandparents house in the next town over, and then my parents left me for good. It was strangely emotional for me. I think there was a big realization that this is real and that I'm an adult now. I have a job, I have a house and rent to pay, I have utilities due, I'm on my own. It all seems so glamorous when your 21 and living with a bunch of people you don't like (and trust me, this is much more glamorous than that) but change is hard. Good, but hard.

Monday morning I went in to do paperwork for work and ever since then have just been waiting for them to call me in. It's a long wait. While I'm waiting, I am going to go in for "testing" on Friday for a different job that uses my degree. It's further away but I think the experience would be better. Hopefully they call me in for an interview and I get it. Wishful thinking.

In the mean time I'm just working on organizing all of my stuff and decorating with what I can find here in this tiny town. I promise I'll do one big happy picture post... when I feel like it.

2010-04-09T22:45:00.002-06:00

I graduate in the morning.
My family is in town.
I have such an incredible life.
My party went well; thanks to my aunt and uncle who made it possible and hosted the event so willingly. I am so blessed to have had them in my life this past school year, as they did SO much for me.
My brother just text me and said that when I got out of the car, my little sister looked around and said "Where'd my Cory go?" Warms my heart. I love her so much.
I never have to live with shitty roommates again. Ever.
I just cursed. But it's true.
I want to be able to buy tulips and daisies and potted paperwhites in open-air markets. I think that's what the next stage of my life will be like... a flower market.
I'm so devastated to close this chapter of my life, I made incredible friends this past school year, I have learned so much about the Gospel and life and school and other grown up things during my college experience. Not a lot of people get that. I'm so lucky.
Wish me luck tomorrow. Wish me luck next week. Wish me luck for this next phase, I have no idea what it even holds.

Confession #7

2010-04-06T22:49:00.003-06:00

I HATE certain uses of the word "heck". Like "Oh my Heck!" and "That was Hecka funny!".

Guess what, you sound hecka gay!

Dear March,

2010-03-31T22:11:00.008-06:00

I enjoy you because you involve Spring, but I'm glad you are over.

No more mustaches!!! Thank goodness. I fully expect to not be seeing anymore of those for the remainder of the year... or, please, at least for April.

You were the longest month of my semester. I think it passed fairly quickly though. Thank you for that. As much as I appreciated you, I have to let you go because April has the following things to offer me:

1. I complete, after 4 semesters of work, my Senior Project.

2. My little sister turns THREE on April 1.

3. I graduate on April 10 and have all the people I love together for a party the night before.

4. I GRADUATE!!

5. I continue my attempt at finding a job. I really really could use a job soon. I'm not having a ton of luck but trying to stay faithful.

6. I move home... or wherever. But home for now.

I'm sorry March, but April just seems better than the tests and readings and school work of March. It has so much more to offer. And it doesn't even make an alliteration with the word mustache. See you next year.

Sincerely,
Cory Shae

2010-03-20T13:10:00.003-06:00

Happy Spring!!!

Today is the First day of Spring. The 3rd greatest season. What a great way to get rid of the absolute worst season by starting a new one. Goodbye winter. Don't come back.

Confession #6

2010-03-17T22:34:00.002-06:00

When I look at pictures of other people, I don't often look at the people in it. Rather, I look at the rooms they're in to see if they're clean. Sometimes, I can't believe the messes that people allow in their homes... and then to take a picture of it! Truly shocking.

Confession #5

2010-03-11T17:48:00.004-07:00

I think bald babies are ugly. I've tried to look past their giant heads but when thats all they have going for them, it's really difficult to do. I'm sorry.

Not that they are my "type" at all, since I don't really have one, but I've always wanted to marry someone with super dark hair so my own children have a chance of being born with lots and lots of black hair. Maybe these two ideas of mine are related. However, I think it's more probable that they're gonna be born bald and blonde like I was. What am I going to do with my own offspring then? I better work on this.

Winter Photossss

2010-03-10T15:08:00.006-07:00

Another picture update of my life. I figure its the best way to keep track of what I'm up to. Anything else that wasn't photographed probably isn't worth knowing. :)

Sledding for FHE

Snowboarding for the first time in my life. It was awful but I would do it again.

Went to Jackson Hole, Wyoming over President's Day Weekend with two of my roommates. It was so nice to just get away!

Went shooting. If I don't look hot holding a gun, I don't know who does! :) Okay maybe not with that face and stance. You get the point.

This is a terrible picture. The flash was off and I didn't know. But its oddly my favorite from a trip to the Hot Springs. I don't know why we didnt think to get a group picture, so you can see just Sam and me.

Odd that this post has snow in every picture and a swimsuit in the last one? Probably. Good ol' Idaho. I won't even miss you.

nothing to blog about

2010-02-19T09:51:00.004-07:00

I have nothing to blog about! But I'm going to anyway since I haven't in so long. Life is alright. Halfway through the semester, as of this week, so only 7 more weeks to go! I cannot wait to be finished but it is very nervewracking as well. There are a lot of unknowns at this point in my life and I'm really not being handed any answers at the moment. I'm just going with the flow. I was accepted to Missouri State and denied to Arizona State. I still have to hear back from the University of Colorado. I'm starting to apply to more schools since I was denied to ASU - that really is where I was wanting to go. It has definitely opened up some other doors in terms of opportunity for me. I am considering going straight for my doctorate now instead of just a masters. It is only an additional two years which would be put at 25-26 by the time a graduate. Not bad for a Ph.D., I think. Or who knows, lots of things are coming up. I am just trying to be open minded and do whatever it is that I'm supposed to be doing! It will all work out for the best, I'm sure.

Other than trying to figure out what to do with the next 5 years of my life, not a whole lot is going on. Ready for the semester to be over with, no doubt!

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T10:55:00.002-07:00

I'm not a resolution maker. I don't like them. The thing about resolutions is that for the first week, people try really really hard to change their lifelong habits. One week or one decision doesn't correct scores of times mistakes. Resolving to do or to change something because it is a new calendar year just doesn't seem effective. That being said, there are some things that I am excited for this next year, some things I hope I will be able to change, and some things I want to stay exactly the same. My top seven list for 2010:

1. Get accepted to where ever it is that I am supposed to end up for the next few years of my education. Or have whatever it is that is supposed to happen to me actually happen, so that I end up where ever it is that I'm supposed to be, doing whatever it is that I'm supposed to be doing... I need some direction.

2. Go the entire year without a single ticket. No parking tickets. No speeding tickets. No tickets of any form please. Just this year.

3. I hope to be able to do really well in school my final semester but still enjoy my time in Idaho as well.

4. Get more fit. I'd like to reach my fitness goal by May. This is something I have been working on for some time and cannot wait to finally obtain.

5. And #4 leads me right to #5... run the BoulderBoulder in the spring. My first 10k. My dad is supposed to be doing it with me so hopefully he doesn't bail. I'm so excited!

6. I am just excited to see what the year has in store for me! This is an awkward stage for me, without any definite plans or life goals but I feel like it will pan out this year.

7. I want to keep loving life more and more everyday. I want to keep trying my hardest to do my best. I want to become the person I was meant to be.

Confession #4

2009-12-18T21:03:00.001-07:00

I don't have a "type" and I hate the question.

Thanks for asking.

Please refrain in the future.

Confession #3

2009-12-17T00:11:00.002-07:00

Sometimes, even the most ridiculous things make me ridiculously sad.

2-1

2009-12-05T20:52:00.006-07:00

So my birthday was November 30. A great year for festivities it was.

I was home for Thanksgiving break so I had a little birthday party while i was home. The plan was a night of shopping and Cheesecake Factory. Somehow we ended up at Red Robin. Disappointing but a good dinner nonetheless. Pictured is myself with my parents, little sister, and best friend.

After a 10 hour drive back to school the following day, I went to bed exhausted and dreamless. I awoke in the morning to a decorated apartment with a gift from my roommate waiting. It was so thoughtful and put a smile on my face right away.

She then treated me with a trip to Cocoa Bean - a local cupcake cafe for the best cupcake I had all day! :)

That night I had a small party at my apartment for a few of my friends. It was a lot of fun to get to see people that live so close but that I never actually get to see. It was so awesome that they all got to come. Dessert was funfetti cake, with funfetti icing and lots of ice cream!

All in all it was a great start to my 21st year of life. I hope to stay this age forever. I can't imagine actually making it to see the big 3-0. Thanks to all that made my day as great as it was :)

Ok.... GO!

2009-11-28T12:10:00.011-07:00

Here is an update of my fall semester all in one pretty little post. Normally I'm off-track (not in school) for fall semester but I started going year-round (3 semesters a year) in order to graduate in April 2010. It's been nice knowing that I'm almost finished but I genuinely miss working and having a little bit of a break from school. Regardless, this has easily been the greatest semester I have had so far. I have great roommates, challenging classes, church at noon... life is just good.

Started the semester with my first ever, last minute trip to Salt Lake for sunday morning session General Conference. My dad, sister and I all met up for it. None of us had ever been and it was a really great experience. I have to admit that it's the exact same spirit that you can get at home though too. It's not something I will likely to again and again but it was worth it. The picture above is the three of us at dinner the night before. The following picture is of President Monson as he exited the Conference Center. I ended up with AMAZING seats. I was on the very bottom level, not very many rows back. I was lucky, to say the least.

Since then I have:

Eaten at Craigo's with an old roommate. sooo good. I'll miss that place when I graduate.

Made multiple trips to the "haunted swings." Basically it's just a really little swing set outside of Rexburg. It's really creepy but I don't think they're actually haunted.

Gone to Mesa Falls in the middle of the night for no reason.

Played on the most giant stacks of hay bales I have ever seen. Followed by a visit with a drunk man on the side of a dirt road that didn't want us to call the cops. We did anyway. Followed by star gazing during a meteor shower.

ROAD TRIP! to Colorado for Thanksgiving Break. My roommate lives in Centennial. I was so lucky to have someone to drive with - makes the 10 hour trip seem that much shorter!

Followed by Thanksgiving in Alamosa. We had dinner this year at my aunt and uncles new house. I've been trying for almsot 21 years to convince my parents that we need a trampoline. I haven't gotten anywhere but this picture proves my point. Sidenote: my little sister is SO big now. She barely has any "baby" qualities left. She's talking, growing, hitting. She's grown into such a little girl.

Visited with my great grandma Ruth. She turned 103 this past summer. I guess now I know what I'll look like in 82 years... wait, what? No. I haven't actually been down to visit my mom's side of the family in over 3 years because of school and work. It was nice to be able to get to go down and remember exactly why it is that I haven't been down in so long :)

All in all it's been a great semester. Three weeks left before it's over. Christmas is right around the corner, preceded by my 21st birthday on Monday!

End of Summer Update in Winter

2009-11-28T11:38:00.002-07:00

So I stopped posting because I got lazy. I'm gonna try to stay more on top of it now. Heres a few pictures from the summer. Nothing too exciting went on. I had a few weeks off between semesters so I just hung out at home. It was a nice little break.

One day I got to go down to Colorado Springs to see Serenity. We walked around Garden of the Gods and had a little picnic with food from her families' store. It was so fun to see her and catch up. We got some unsuspecting tourists to take our photo for us.

After school started, I babysat for my mom to make a little bit of money. I hate being stuck at home so we tried to make adventures of it. We had a lot of art sessions and nap time followed by 4 pm phone calls to my mom telling her to hurry up and get home. I might be a fun sister, but I'm definitely not very patient. Here are a few pictures of us at the Children's Museum in Denver one day. She loved it.

Kaylee and me.

This boat rocked back and forth and made water noises. I think the sheep drowned in the water or something. She loved that thing. It was hard getting her to go from station to station. She would get so focused on one thing and not want to leave it.

Art time! She LOVED this. It was probably her favorite part. I showed her how to paint with her hands, she loved it more than she loves eating ketchup.

Afterwards we stopped at my mom's work. I had Kaylee's art with me to show my mom at which point Kaylee went into this big, incoherent, explanation and demonstration of how she painted it. I don't think she breathed for a full 2 minutes. The only words either of us got out if it were "hand hand". I love doing things with her that create memories for her and this one definitely did. A few weeks ago Kaylee went back to my mom's work and saw the art hanging up. She proceeded, again, to demonstrate for my mom how she painted with her hands. I'm sooo glad she remembers!

It was a pretty uneventful but fun summer that was entirely too short.

Confession #2

2009-10-14T01:37:00.001-06:00

I almost always fall asleep laying on my right side. Its compulsive.

But I love sleeping on my stomach most.

Confession #1

2009-10-08T00:26:00.001-06:00

I use my laptop while laying in bed.

All the time.

my parent's pantry is a war-zone.

2009-08-27T15:53:00.003-06:00

My mom complains about how picky I am. When I first got home I wouldn't really eat anything that she made because she was making gross things. I don't even remember what they were except that one of the dishes had mushrooms. Obvious Pass. But it kind of got bad because they don't buy anything I like to eat and I started being hungry all the time and grouchy and losing weight (not that thats a bad thing. hunger just isn't my favorite feeling). If they do have things that I like then my brother and dad, who eat like they don't know when their next meal is going to be, eat it before I ever get a chance! so rude. Butttttt, by combining old habits with the need for survival (haha jkkk its not that bad) I've found a solution to my issue!

Habit: I bite things. I'm not sure exactly when it started but it definitely started as a joke. Anytime someone (usually family members only) has a sandwich, toast, burrito, cookie, whatever, I sneak a bite of it. Even if I dont really like what they are eating I still do it. I think it's hysterical for them to turn back around and be missing part of their meal. It's kind of evolved to the point where I do it even if I'm not going to see their reaction, such as when my mom took my dad breakfast at work the other day. I'm sure he loved the little missing piece of his toast! But this whole thing has kind of evolved and it's really benefitting me.

Issue: I'm a mood eater. If I like a particular something but am not in the mood for it at that moment, I don't eat it. My moods for food strongly affect what I'm going to be eating. Other people eat what I like before my mood changes, leaving me hungry and foodless.

Solution: I take a bite out of whatever I want, put it back, no one touches it. Want to make sure you get one blueberry pop tart out of the entire box but not right at that moment? Take a bite, Replace, It's yours. Want the most perfect looking slice of pizza? Take a bite (ruins perfection but not taste), Replace, It's yours. Want the entire package of Oreos?... Well I don't really know what to suggest there. I can imagine some pretty angry people if someone went around biting EVERYTHING... but you get the point.

No Title Here. Ha.

2009-08-15T23:18:00.011-06:00

soooo it seems like I really only post in the middle of the night. I think about it during the day, I just always change my mind. I'll just update on everything. Be warned: This Will Be Random.

School ended last month with a bang. I was VERY excited for that. I got a 4.0 for the first time since community college. That was exciting because I actually tried to get it and succeeded. Community college I didn't even have to try and I got it. Real college I should try but never did. Until now. And I rocked it. Got my last two semesters of school paid for because of it. Thank you present blessings. Now I only have one full semester left and then a few classes the following semester and I will be a proud college graduate.... oh my.

My brother is eating an otter pop next to me. Loudly. I remember when he was little he had his tonsils out and tubes put in his ears and all sorts of stuff and was really sick for awhile. All he ate was otter pops for like 2 weeks without brushing his teeth. It was rank. Bad breath + layers of otter pop fuzz = TERRIBLE.

... he just leaned over to me, without knowing I was writing that about him, and said "I'm glad we can spend this quality time together," pointing out the fact that we are sitting alone in a room together, silently.

Anyways, since I have been home I really haven't done much. I was going to start my grad school applications and I looked through some possible schools but apparently you cannot start them until September so I've pretty much just been wasting time accomplising nothing. It took me three days just to clean the pantry for my mom but it looks pretty rockin' now. My parents have a fairly large pantry though, just to inform the uninformed.

My best friend from high school had her 21st bday on August 7. I spent a lot of time helping her celebrate. Here is a bad picture of me, but this is the day that her mom (on the right) took a bunch of us out for a surprise lunch for Tosha. Delicious.

Hmm.. what else. I've recently discovered that I kinda hate people that are constantly melodramatic. Its annoying. Or also the people that are constantly "finding themselves" or "rediscovering themselves." I went through a phase last year of trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted to be. And I did that. And now it's over. It didn't last forever. It doesn't need to last forever. Get over yourself. You're going to be forever changing and readjusting/adapting. Deal with it.

So I made some cinnamon rolls tonight. They are pretty good if I do say so myself. If they don't look to-die-for, I don't know what does.

<-- Actual Photo

I went running tonight. Typically I go first thing in the morning but I decided to wait just to mix it up. I sweat so bad. It was gross. And then an hour later, I ate a cinnamon roll and a roll of Smarties, which are easily my favorite candies. Possibly since childhood. Some things just don't change. Running + Cinnamon Roll + Smarties = Almost Like You Never Went Running in the First Place.

When I was at school this past semester I had been working on my upper body quite a bit because I remember when I was a senior in high school my mom told me I have fat arms. And now I'm a senior in college so why not do something about it. (There is no actual correlation there. I just like to point out that I'm a senior in college.) They were really looking good. But I ended up getting a terrible sunburn when I got home and blistering and crying and stuff so I could barely move my arms higher than my waist. All my hard work left faster than it even happened. Now I have fat arms again. Sorry to disappoint. But I do love a nice set of arms on guys. Just sayin'. ...It almost seems wrong to put an apostrophe immediately preceding a period. '.'.'.'.'.'. That can't be grammatically correct.

Well my agenda for the remaining three weeks I have left at home is:

Actually accomplish something.

Get as tan as I can in such a short period of time.

Buy a bunch of new clothes.

See The Time Traveler's Wife.

Narrow my options down to two schools and fields of study; begin the grad school application process.

Love my little sister as much as possible.

Build up to running as far as I can without alternating speeds.

On a completely different note, I just want to add that I am increasingly grateful for the individuals that have been placed in my life. Whether they are simple acquaintances that lead me through quiet example or lifelong friends that I have been able to learn drastic amounts from and have been an incredible support, I'm so lucky. I don't know how people make it through life without positive people around them.

Sometime Around Midnight

2009-07-18T23:36:00.003-06:00

I heard this band the other day: The Airborne Toxic Event. I really love their music and even iTuned an album the day I first heard them. Something I've learned about myself in getting to know others is that I like things that are a little bit off. I like quirky movies, have a slightly different music taste, and seem to be the only person that thinks dancing in the shower is a good idea. I'm weird. Whatev. Check em out. See what you think.

On a different note:

School is out for me in FOUR days!!! I'm a counter. I count down to everything. It almost makes it torturous. It always makes it fun. Four days is nothing. I can do this! I've been trying very diligently to get a 4.0 in all of my classes this semester. I didn't know if this was possible because I've never actually TRIED before. It usually either happens, or it doesn't. But i don't TRY. But it looks like it might actually happen!!! Not to toot my own horn or anything. I'm just shocked with my ability to apply myself this semester. Very abnormal for me. Hopefully I am able to make it through finals with great test scores to solidify my grades thus far.

I'm very much looking forward to summer break. It will be a first for me to have to come back to Rexburg in the Fall so I have to make the most out of the few weeks I have off. Very not looking forward to being so broke the next two semesters because of it! Oh well.

Well, I can't really think of much exciting that is going on in my life right now soooooooooo

that's it.

Good night.

Nothin' going on..

2009-06-19T00:27:00.004-06:00

but I am loving life SO much right now.
I don't know exactly why but I'm glad that I am.
Life is great.

May Weekends

2009-06-04T21:15:00.005-06:00

Memorial Weekend I was able to go up north to visit my best friend Megan. Megan and I were in the same class together in third grade. I moved during sixth grade but we have been best friends since since we were 8 years old. Its really awesome that we have been able to maintain that friendship so well. We don't get to talk a lot and only see eachother about every four years, but everytime we get together it is like nothing ever changed within our relationship.

It was a lot of fun to be able to drive up to Coeur d'Alene, Idaho to get to see her and just be a tourist up there. I have never been. Friday night we just talked and caught up for hours. Then Saturday we walked around downtown and on the boardwalk. Then we went up to a campsite where her fiance, brother and some of their friends were staying for the weekend. We drove back that night and saw Ghost of Girlfriends Past at the movie theater. I drank more soda that night then I probably have all year. Anywho, Sunday she had to get back to work so we hung out for a portion of the day. She drove me to two malls in Spokane, a 20 minute drive. I am proud to say that I did not buy a single thing. We also went to the Riverfront Park and saw some incredibly interesting people. I am not even kidding. One man had shorts layered with a nice pair of whitie tighties on top. The front of his shirt was pulled onto his head so that his chest was revealed. I don't think he had all of his components in place if you know what I mean. It's strange to me that there can be such a difference of people within just a short distance. Coeur d'Alene was such a nice area. Spokane was full of creepers.

Unfortunately, I cannot find any pictures of Megan and I together at all when we were little. We both went to visit eachother when we turned 16 so I have a few pictures from that but they are at home so I will just have to post this most recent one for now.

(Megan and me)

After I left Megan's I drove to my hotel to get settled in. I decided to go see the Spokane Temple. It was really pretty but hard to find. Afterword I went to visit my aunt who drove up to show me around Spokane. We drove all over town together and just talked. It was a lot fun. In the morning we met up and went to another mall with her daughters (obviously my cousins) and a friend of theirs. I left that afternoon to come back to Rexburg, but not for long!

(Spokane Temple really late at night)

The following weekend (last Friday) most of my dad's family came up for a little reunion. We stayed in this huge house called Silverhawk Lake House. It was right on the water and tons of fun (ok... maybe not a ton, but it was fun) to get to see my family. For anyone that is wondering, I DOMINATE at pool... that or I'm just really lucky.

(Kaylee with her favorite nightgown OVER her clothes. She refuses to take it off. And what else? Shoes - also an obsession of hers.)

Now I am back at school. Sadly, I have no more trips planned but hopefully something new and exciting will come up. Less then 7 weeks left of this semester!

shut. up.

2009-05-18T16:36:00.005-06:00

Everyone has those people around them that are annoying. Like, grateful-you-hardly-have-contact, just-likes-to-hear-themselves-talk, looks-weird-when-they-laugh, never-miss-a-class people. I hate those people. Everyone around them is a victim.

Now I don't want to sound anti-marriage because this is far from the truth. The reality is that I cannot wait for that to happen in my life. All I'm saying is that I am so glad I did not get married young enough that I was blind to this kind of guy! The poor girls that fall victim to blind-love. They are STUCK. And probably still oblivious to the fact that their spouse is ANNOYING. Good for them.

♥

2009-05-10T15:30:00.003-06:00

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.

ME WITH ALL MY FAVORITE MOM'S IN THIS WORLD.

Nothing To Do With Anything

2009-05-01T00:21:00.000-06:00

I have a lot of random thoughts in my head. Not just currently. Always.

Here are some of them:

I never know what words are or aren't supposed to be capitalized in titles. I always just guess. This post will intentionally have an all-capitalized title so that I may avoid scrutiny.
I want dark hair again. I think I'm going to wait until after summer though. But I want it dark so bad.
I cannot wait to start tanning again! And running. I have missed them both greatly.
I'm glad I don't have babies yet.

^He has big ears^

I really hate Idaho a lot, but the summers here are not bad. It rains. Like every day. I love the rain. I can't wait though for the sun to start coming out every day too. That will be exciting.
I'm loving my minor, Marriage and Family Studies, a lot more than I thought I would.
I don't think people should completely bleach out their hair to the point that it is white. It doesn't look good.
I'm so excited to see my aunt and mom tomorrow! And to get out of Rexburg.
I'm excited for this summer. It's gonna be a good one. Next summer I will be a college graduate. Yikes.
I want to buy a wall map.
If I got married tomorrow, I have NO IDEA who I would choose to be in the wedding party.
I want to grow some flowers!
I looooooveeeee my life! Now i just need a hottie to cuddle with and tell me how cute I am everyday and I will be set for life!

Spring Break!

2009-04-22T19:23:00.012-06:00

I got to go home last week between semesters, a very much needed break. Nothing too exciting went on but I still had a lot of fun. I didn't get really bored until the end.

Saturday I went shopping with my mom. I <3 my mom. Sunday we went to church, per usual. It was easter so we got little gift bags full of chocolate and Cadbury Egg's, my fav.

Monday I babysat my little sister Kaylee. We went to the zoo.... quite the experience with a two year old. She was definitely more interested in the boring old birds from the sky then she was excited about anything actually from the zoo. She got so tired from all the running around and investigating that by the end she could barely keep her eyes open to eat some ice cream!

Tuesday and Wednesday I wasn't feeling too well so I just kind of hung out at home and slept A LOT. It was great. Then Thursday I had lunch with my old Young Women's leader at Red Robin. I love that place. And I love LeAnn. Then I just hung out with some friends the rest of the day.

I was planning on leaving Friday so that I could have enough time to prepare for classes this Monday. Mother Nature had a different idea. It ended up snowing. A LOT. Up to 40 inches in some parts of the Denver area. We didn't get that much at my house but it made leaving impossible and all of the highways in Colorado and Wyoming that I drive were closed so I was stuck for TWO DAYS. Saturday I was so bored I couldn't take it anymore and drove into Denver just to find something to do. I almost killed myself on the dirt roads trying to get out but I made it. I hung out with some more friends for a little bit and then went home with something to do! I made these for my room (and the little art thing to the right as well):

Quite artistic if I do say so myself. The wall itself isn't finished. I just wanted you to be able to see the letters.

Anyways, this is a really long blog. I ended up coming home Sunday at like 8 pm and had classes in the morning at 9. I like my classes a lot better this semester so far. I have high hopes for it. The weather has been AMAZING as well. Life is just good. Three more semesters!

Loving Life. ♥

2009-04-04T02:55:00.009-06:00

I love my life. I love my life a lot.

The reasons why:

I was born into the true Gospel.
I am loved.
Despite how terribly I treat my body, it still works perfectly.
I have the greatest parents. (I would never admit this to them). We definitely have our differences but they have been the greatest examples to me. I know that I was given to them and them to me for a reason. Any other parents just wouldn't have done.
Even though I screw up (a lot), I know that it will be okay eventually. There is always room and possibility for change.
I know it's said all of the time, but I am so lucky to be a citizen of this country. I have freedoms beyond compare.
I'm like 39 credits away from getting my B.S.
Somehow, someway, despite my shopping habits, I always have more than enough money to get by.
I have really great eyebrows.
I've been given a lot of incredible opportunities to experience things some people never even dream of. And I'm so grateful for the people in my life that have made these events possible!

I know its just some quick examples but...

♥ I'm still the luckiest girl in the entire world. ♥

My Current Love

2009-03-22T19:46:00.003-06:00

Soft Peppermint Candy. So good.

I've actually always loved them, but especially right now. Apparently they sell them in the candy aisle at Walmart. Unfortunately these little suckers are like 20 calories a piece... and I've already eaten about 10. They are just so easy to keep eating. They also taste and feel so good in my mouth!

Sweaty Ants

2009-03-11T15:21:00.010-06:00

I've decided to jump on the bandwagon and start a blog. There are no promises for how interesting or entertaining it will be. But I'm going to have it regardless.

So every morning as I blow dry my hair, some really weird thoughts tend to cross my mind. Probably from the ions in my new blow dryer, but probably not being as I did this same thing with my last blow dryer that didn't have an option for ions. Maybe its just the heat. I dont know.

Anyway almost every morning as I'm bent over, drying my hair, I see an ant walking around, sometimes carrying something, usually just walking. I've always wanted to blow air on it, just to see what would happen but I've supressed the thought because it seems kind of mean... until recently, when I just decided to do it. Results: Nothing happened. It slid across the floor to the wall and kept on walking, just like always.

But this act of spraying the air at the ant really got me thinking... Do ants feel heat? If so, do they sweat? What about other insects? Bees? Mosquitos? Butterflies? What if they feel heat but they can't sweat? Do they die from heat exhaustion? I wonder.